Growing up, we all have dreams and aspirations of what we think we'll be. The little boy who wanted to be a firefighter or policeman, the little girl who wanted to be a teacher or nurse. We find often find that our lives do not always make for a dream come true.
We never imagine that we will grow up and have illnesses that often require daily dealings. We never daydream about the medications we'll take or the doctors appointments we'll make. What kind of aspiration is that?
Truthfully, I can't recall all the things I thought I would be. But as it turns out, I have been granted a life that is rich and full despite the illness. I have been fortunate enough to see love at its greatest, understanding at its best and patience beyond measure. How many people dream of living with such things and never will?
For all the things I thought I'd be, becoming a passionate, positive individual with hope and optimism is something that will carry me wherever life takes me.
As I read through a few of the FB pages for Crohns and IBS, I came across a phrase tatooed on the ankle of someone who obviously has Crohns. The phrase 'luctor et emergo' is Latin meaning 'I struggle and emerge'. Okay, I'm inspired. Not to get a tatoo, mind you, but inspired by this persons belief that no matter how bad the day or week, they will arise, they will overcome.
Even tho our bodies are at times unable to do the things we want or need to do, the inner self, the person you really are, doesn't have to be defeated. Holding on to the thought that you will get better, even tho it may be for just a short time, can make those times of struggle easier.
Our energy may come and go, our abilities confined by a body that doesn't behave the way it should. These things we can't always change. But grasping the mindset that you will prevail, keeps us above the disease rather than being overtaken by it.
Since I'm going greek today, in the words of Horace, 'carpe diem'!
Here's a depressing thought. I have posted this blog address to two Crohns' sites and I also have a Facebook page of the same name. I have one blog follower and three FB page members. Now, I am not complaining and I truthfully find this to be a bit more funny than depressing. It simply proves the point I am trying to make. It's easier to jump on the bandwagon and be a complainer than to turn your situation into something good and share that.
Take a look at the sites. Read the postings. Often, they start as an information gathering venture then turn into a fest of sharing all the terrible things that someone has gone through. Again, I do not negate that with a chronic illness there are times that are bad; however, it is clear that most people focus on that aspect.
Everyone is trying to find a place to have their feelings validated. We all know the pains of Crohns. It's time to share some of the positive things that we have experienced in our journey.
There are people we have met, things we understand better and breakthroughs we could share. You can inspire those around you by being bigger than this disease. Share the positive!
Sitting here trying to be insightful and really just getting the sound of the water dripping in the sink as the only bounceback, I begin to think about being blessed and feeling blessed. We so often say "I'm blessed" as the counterbalance to whatever challenge we are currently being given. Like anyone else, I make the remark too without much thought into what I am saying.
"I'm blessed". Taking the time to really think about what is being said would overwhelm us and humble us to tears. Someone today had to home to go to. Someone had no one to share their troubles with. Someone was still waiting to see if their loved one lost to one of the many tragedies the world has seen lately. Someone could see no way to provide the needs of their family. Someone...but that someone wasn't me.
In the midst of our own struggles, we can overlook our own blessings. We let our everyday life over shadow the wonderful things we have. How can you feel blessed when you feel so sick? For myself, I can truly say that I am blessed even tho I have Crohns. I don't suffer to the degree others do and have a wonderful support system of understanding family and friends. That in itself is a blessing.
Regardless to how we feel, most of us are truly blessed. I hope that I can be mindful of that and begin to feel blessed as well.
Yesterday was one of those days that would have worked out better if I hadn't woke up sick. The pain was terrible, I didn't want to move, not even to get the much needed pain reliever. It was just a walk down the hall but even that seemed like a marathon at the time. I lay there for several minutes willing the pain away, then willing myself to get up, to go get the medicine.
Oddly enough, I had a migraine. It wasn't my tummy. In fact, I'd have to say in comparison, my tummy felt wonderful.
See, I'm a whimp when it comes to a headache.
I can't stand how your entire head radiates at every little sound or how nauseated you feel with every move. I loath the way your neck feels tight and your eyes want to pop out of your head.
My husband tells me I handle Crohns with such grace. I appreciate that he views me that way but in truth, it's been a learning curve, an acceptance of what is and what will be. I do not say that with any glimmer of defeat.
See, we all have our pains and we all have our tolerances. Call me crazy, but I'd take Crohns over a migraine any day...if I could pick my pain.
I sat in the doctors' office yesterday and, like everyone else, picked up a magazine to pass the time. As I flipped through, I came across a directory of all the local non-profit organizations. I read several listings and what there organizations did for the community. First of all, I want to say that I am glad these organizations are available. But in turn, I was saddened at the causes that made it possible, NO necessary to exist. From The American Cancer Society to The Childrens' Home. People having to hear impending death and children in a home without the love of a parent or the promise of where they may be the next day.
No, there were no organizations dedicated to Crohns or chronic illnesses, save those that were terminal or caused much more pain and affliction than Crohns. So in that is my positive thought. Yes, suffer I may but, I have no time limit. At least none less than anyone else. My life has no real limitations. Just those I place on myself.
